3 Ingredients for happiness
It works for everyone irrespective of being rich or poor or powerful or powerless
Happiness is the most sought-after state of mind for all human beings from time immemorial. Generally, the common thought is that money can bring happiness but if one asks rich people whether they are happy, the answer is a big no. Every man is suffering and the only difference is how are they suffering. There are cases of many rich people ending their life miserably by committing suicide. The same applies to powerful people.
Usually, being rich and powerful go together as when one becomes rich, the status in society increases, which makes one powerful to become the sole decision-maker for other members of the society in how they should live their life. But based on real-world experiences being rich or powerful definitively doesn't guarantee happiness as wanting to control others gives constant suffering to maintain the status quo of not losing control. Also, the constant fear of losing money makes the rich suffer perpetually. So what can guarantee happiness?
There are three ingredients for happiness that one can try for oneself and experience and the three work in unison and have to be applied together.
- Self-dependency
- Altruism
- Gratitude
Let's see how it can be applied in real life.
- Self-dependency
Being dependent on oneself is the best and the most crucial thing one can do for oneself. It takes a lot of effort to be self-dependent but the fruit of the effort is mastery. One can have better control of life if not dependent on others, as being dependent on others is always impermanent due to other person’s choices and thought processes. Expectations lead to disappointments and disappointments lead to frustrations and frustrations lead to revenge and revenge leads to suffering.
Expectations → Disappointments →Frustrations →Revenge →Suffering
Asking for help from others can only be a choice if one cannot do the task for oneself. Also, asking for help should always be backed with effort. Meaning, the help asked is the last resort in spite of exhausting one's best efforts and should be returned timely at least with future efforts. Any help received should be returned always to release the mind from baggage.
2. Altruism
Helping others without being asked for and without expecting anything in return is the greatest virtue. This is somewhat like the motherly love toward her baby. Pure altruism is seldom possible in nature. This is because nature works based on the survival of the fittest and the law of conservation of mass and energy. Thus, only a selfless human who can break nature's laws can practice altruism. This is indeed almost impossible. But at least there can be direction by using one's energy to uplift others when one had uplifted oneself.
By giving back to society, the overall cognizance of society improves as everyone is helping others who are in distress which in turn reduces the individual committing crimes towards satisfying one's basic needs. A positive domino effect in action is by improving oneself and then improving others thus the overall society keeps improving until the last vulnerable gets improved and the cycle continues. Altruism expands one mind as there is no difference with another leading to peace and ultimately bliss.
Altruism →expansion →peace →bliss
3. Gratitude
Being content with whatever life has offered can make one move on rather than being stagnant. Being stagnant can give rise to thoughts that are meaningless by involving in arguments will cause further suffering. If something can go wrong, it will go wrong. So is the human life which is always hanging in mystery. Thus, it is always better to appreciate the little things in life. Unfortunately, humans have evolved to go beyond their basic needs which have made them go never ending to satisfy their senses. Actually, animals behave better than humans in practicing gratitude by nature by being content once their basic needs of hunger, thirst, sleep, and sex are satisfied.
It is verily rare to find a human practicing gratitude in real life as humans are largely ignorant and slaves of survival instincts and planning. It is said that we should always plan for a better future, but one should plan for less and less rather than for more and more. The approach is simply to come with empty hands and go with empty hands and in between just be happy for the little things life has to offer. Being content with whatever one has and focusing on the true understanding of being aware is the greatest gift to give oneself. It is because it is instinctive to hoard which is the outcome of ignorance and to be grateful is verily to be aware of one's true purpose.
Gratitude →Awareness →purpose