Diamonds 💎 are rare, so are couples with happily married 💍 life. Why?
Why can’t every couple be like Diplozoon paradoxum which is mated for life?
Marriage is precisely an outcome of union of two minds and a life long commitment between two individuals with differing perspectives. But can we trust the mind, whose very nature is opportunistic? It is said that marriages are made in heaven , but that was a convenient lie told by someone or an institution only with the aim to profit or benefit from marriage directly or indirectly. It is because for them or they, the concept of marriage helps them with their craving for power or benefit over a weaker sex.
Every human, by natural design is polygamous in the mind and virginity is lack of opportunity. If right time, place and reason combines, very rarely human can overcome the temptation of breaking trust or the solemn of marriage. So, why in olden days, most marriages were successful and now most of them in developed societies are thinking twice before marriage or if married, are ending up in failure?
It’s because, now the birds are free. In those times women were born in cages with well defined boundaries set by men and they thought that their freedom is only within the cage. Their space for freedom were very little. In olden times , men were taking decisions on behalf of women and women only have to follow orders , hence marriages were largely continuing successfully. Now, women have more freedom than ever before and they can take decisions for themselves.
Emancipation of women:
Currently, free thinking, financial empowerment and advances in science and technology have made women independent. Letting go is a great power. Women can let go of men who are difficult to hold on. Before, the brawn of men made it extremely difficult for women to let go of them. Their muscle and money power subdued women inside closed doors taking advantage of them and they were suffering in silence.
But now, education have given women the power of free thinking to speak up against bullying, due to financial empowerment can live independently for their own survival and can use technologies to gather evidence or defend when abused by men. Emancipation of women have put the brawn of men in the back seat and it is the brain which is in the front seat liberating them from the set up of marriage.
The burden of marriage:
The current trend of increasing divorce rate and men and women unwilling to marry at all are due to the burdens associated with marriage. The societal set up of the capital cost of marriage and the operational cost later associated due to the outcome of children is even more burden full. Moreover, married couples loose their freedom of interaction and movement as their activity becomes more dependent on the opposite sex or someone associated with them or children. Feeling of being restricted is a common aspect after marriage.
In the animal world, due to natural design of selfish genes, animals mate during favorable seasons and give birth to offspring to continue the genes and be a part of food chain. Here, the body to become more bodies is dictating terms to the mind which acts like its slave, uses the senses to the serve the body. But humans have been blessed with a high capacity brain to think beyond the body or selfish genes which can help them to come out of the body mind complex. Humans can carve a path for themselves. With more spiritual thoughts happening recently, it was a last nail in the coffin to escape the burden of marriage.
Selflessness is a rare entity:
The self or ego is the cause of bondage and bondage leads to suffering. The bondage of relationship is making people to suffer. Couples put lot of efforts to sustain their monogamous marriage but one day one of them have to leave due to accidents or old age or by events beyond their control. This breaks the relationship and the loneliness or emptiness associated with that later causes incessant suffering. Men and women nowadays are more aware of the impermanence of life. The thought that the other is mine or self cannot stay throughout ones life. Only selflessness can overcome bondage and is the answer to liberation. Why to commit something which anyway is not permanent?
Moreover, humans rarely project their true self to another. It’s all manipulation projecting ones false self to make a situation advantageous or beneficial to oneself. After marriage the real face of another is known due to more intimacy and time spend. In olden times when the true face of man is known, women cannot do much and they consider it as their fate and pass their life hesitantly. Manipulation only work due to force or ignorance which cannot happen now a days due to increased alertness and freedom among individuals to react and choose. Thus, those people of yesteryears with patriarchal or chauvinistic mindset cannot behave the way they used to be in these modern times.
In the age of freedom, marriage is an ant lion pit. Once fallen, rarely does one escape to pursue the true purpose of life. Wise men learn from others mistakes and fools by their own.
Meanwhile, diplazoon paradoxim is a flatworm known for its complete monogamy and is mated for life by inherent design. Human beings by inherent design are free thinkers as every human has the potential to break free from the rituals and customs created by other humans. It takes tremendous effort to maintain a marriage and when both parties are equally free in thoughts it is an herculean task which otherwise can be better utilized to liberate ones soul.