Kiran Krishnan
2 min readNov 30, 2021


Do you have or had a partner who made you doubt your reality?

Welcome to the world of gas lighters!

Abusive relationship with a gas lighting partner

Have you been in situations where your partner deny what they had said or say what they haven’t said as said? If this happens, then definitely you are dealing with a gas lighter. It is better to be extra careful with these type of partners as it will be always you are at fault. They will never accept their mistakes nor will be willing to remedy their mistakes. This makes you confused, crazy and think that your reality is faulty.

The craziest thing about gas lighters?

The craziest thing about gas lighters is that no amount of education or awareness can change them. They are the way there are. Morality is never their piece of cake.

What can you do about it?

  1. Identify that they are immoral and speak out

Firstly, one should realize that the partner is a gas lighter and be frank with the expected outcome of relationship. What is expected cannot be disappointing.

2. Be reassured by holding proofs

By whatever means have some evidence with you for those tasks or events which can change later so that you are not at fault

3. Never reveal them any confidential information

Information is a weapon for them to manipulate and use against you later

4. Don’t fall prey to their innocence

Sometimes they appear to behave innocently but their colors are revealed when pressing situations happens

5. They are highly secretive

They will never share any matters close to their heart as they don’t want you to guess about them in anyway

6. Emotional blackmail is their cup of tea

Instead of logical discussion they act emotionally to make you feel embarrassing or faulty

7. They never make any compromise on their comforts

You will notice that , whether for money or comfort, it will be only you who does the sacrifice to sustain the relationship

8. They don’t appreciate the good in you

They never praise you for the good work you had done and instead it is all about themselves. Self praising is their hallmark

The above 8 red flags are useful to understand and identify a gas lighter in a relationship. Relationship with a gas lighter is always abusive and is always torturous to go on in life.



Kiran Krishnan

Life enthusiast; Seeker; Renaissance man; Life long student ; Self taught scientist.